


This Calm and Chaos

by RiverRunningFree



Category: Fate: The Winx Saga (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e06 A Fanatic Heart (Fate: The Winx Saga), F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt Sam Harvey, Hurt/Comfort, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Post-Finale, Post-Season/Series 01 Finale, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma, Recovery, Sam Harvey has PTSD, Sam and Musa, Samusa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29929761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverRunningFree/pseuds/RiverRunningFree
Summary: Sometimes trauma can't be healed just by medicine and magic. Sometimes trauma festers and penetrates into the minds of even the most peaceful of people. Sometimes the aftermath of trauma ends up being worse than the wound itself.
Relationships: Sam Harvey/Musa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	This Calm and Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> TW: heavy angst, slightest gore, and borderline panic attacks.

Nights were bliss.

Peaceful and quiet, a blanket of silence that lulled the muffled feedback of the emotional dreams and saddened reminiscing from her fellow suitemates.

Nights were soft.

No screaming external emotions that demanded Musa’s attention. No constant static of chatter and laughing and tears. No judging eyes and intrusive feelings that penetrated so deeply she couldn’t even be sure they weren’t her own.

Yes. Nights were pleasant. And Musa reveled in every second of peace that filtered in through her mind.

The faerie slowly stretched out on her bed, headphones snuggled comfortably over her ears. She sighed contentedly and let the natural weight of her eyelids drift themselves closed, a light hum under her breath as the floating sway of sleep overtook her mind inch by inch.

A blissful dark. . .

A softened release. . .

_“HELP ME!”_

Purple eyes snapped open and Musa jerked upright at the scream in her head.

_“STOP STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP-“_

Like a banshee’s wail pounding against her eardrums. She’d never heard such terrorized thoughts so clearly before, only emotions and feelings.

“ _PLEASE! HELP M- AAAAAAH!!”_

Musa bolted out of bed, abandoned headphones forgotten on her pillow. She scrambled down the corridor hands covering her ears as she sprinted towards the wails. Her heart was pounding almost as loud as the emotions roiling inside her like tongues of fire and flame. She bit her lip so hard it trickled blood and then pushed her legs faster.

Someone crippled in pain. Someone gasping and wrenching against an onslaught of terror.

Musa reached the door to the sound and could barely register her panted breathing over the roar of silent screams coming from inside. Noise. Noise. So much noise. So much pain. Dark, dark, dark!

She wrenched open the door and scrambled towards a closed bedroom on her right, oblivious of the peacefully sleeping students occupying the nearby rooms. Lunging inside, her heart beat through her throat and her eyes widened at the sight in front of her.

Sam.

Tossing and flipping, tangled in dark green sheets and struggling against an invisible force, Sam’s mouth gaped open in noiseless screeching as the throes of a night terror gripped him in its vise-like hold.

“Sam.”

Purple eyes flickered in shared pain as the faerie approached. She carefully reached out her hand, bracing herself against the onslaught of emotions as her skin connected with his.

_***_

_Darkness in twisted smoke._

_Deformed faces in rotten skin._

_Screaming. Crying. Shrieking. Wailing._

_Gashes of shredded flesh and gaping wounds._

_Black void less veins sprouting out of mouths._

_Empty pits instead of eyes._

_Pain. Pain. So much agony and PAIN._

_Burning fingers, charring legs._

_Melted limbs and blood on fire._

_Pain. PAIN. AGONY. PAIN-_

_***_

Musa jolted back into her body, unaware of the tears streaking down her face in response to the flood of horror. She forced her mind to focus on being calm, on projecting her thoughts onto her boyfriend writhing underneath her hands.

She mentally reached out, like a swan navigating a tsunami.

“Sam? Sam, I need you to wake up now. Okay? You’re alright, it’s just a dream.”

Sam's eye’s slitted momentarily before snapping shut as his body jerked away.

“Sam. Wake up. You’re not infected anymore, okay? Please, just listen to me-“ Her voice racked slightly before continuing to poor soothing emotions towards his rare show of chaos. “You’re healed. You’ve been saved. Clean and pure, only light and calm. There’s no more poison, no more pain. Come back to me Sam. . . please.”

A low moan signaled the drift towards consciousness, Sam’s thrashing slowing down to small twitches and sporadic cramps. His eyelashes fluttered feverishly under Musa’s gaze.

“There we go. Good job, Sam. You’re doing so good. Wake up for me, come on. Open your eyes.” She brushed her shaking fingers through his matted strands of hair, dissolving her words in encouraging hums and sweet nothings in his ears.

Another groan and his eyes dragged open, clawing himself up to a sitting position.

“Easy, Sam. Easy.”

Even though now awake, his eyes still seemed unseeing and his breathing was harsh and gasping. Musa pushed more peaceful emotions towards him, feeling for all the world out of her depth and skill. She wished she knew what to do. How to help with a wound that needed more than physical and magical healing.

“Mu-sa. . .?”

His voice sounds like burned paper crumbling to dust in his mouth.

“I’m here, Sam. I’m here.”

He blinked his eyes slowly, emotionlessly. Like a puppet with cut strings trying not to collapse. His face was pale with flushed cheeks, sweat damp against his hair and chest as he shivered timidly in the aftershocks of a panic attack.

His breath caught on every third inhale, like his lungs didn’t quite believe that they had the ability to work. Hands trembling violently as his lip quivered and wet eyes continued their owlish blinks.

“I- I can’t. Musa. . .” A long stream of snot dripped from his nose as the red veins in his green eyes stood out harshly even in the darkness. Raw, wide eyes full of fear. “Every time I close my eyes-“ His breath hitched, “I _see_ it. That- that evil _poison_ , corrupting me and turning me-“

“You’re healed, Sam. I promise, all the poison is gone, you’re clean-“

“I know.” Sam let out a puff of wet air and sniffed thickly, “I _know._ But I- but I still _remember_. I still remember what it _feels_ like. To turn into something so dark and twisted and. . . and. . .” He turned and buried his face against Musa’s neck, his shoulders shaking as she immediately wrapped her arms around his frame.

“It’ll get better. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.”

She paused. Sam was right, Musa knew. But it didn’t make the feeling of helplessness keep from crushing her heart. Her beautiful Sam, bright and calm and the absence of chaos, was lying broken in her arms and she had no idea how to put him back together. No idea how to give him that pure absence of chaos that he had constantly given her.

She rubbed absently on his back, feeling his heart race against hers, the lingering terror still pulsing angrily against her powers. They were alone, in a dark room, with no one to hear their pain. Just chaos and calm fighting against each other irradicably in the late-night hours.

The psychological damage of being infected by a burned one wasn’t something so easily fixed. But apparently, it was something that had been easily brushed aside by everyone else who knew Sam. And that wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that they all expected him to just be fine after feeling something too corrupted and tainted. It wasn’t fair that they thought other things going on were more important than Sam. It wasn’t fair. But it was life. And was life cruel and quick to forget.

But Musa would be peace. And she would be calm. She would be everything Sam needed because his pain was too important to be dismissed. Too important to not be healed with loving hands.

“I know, Sam. But I promise you this: I will never leave you, through any of this. I’ll be here right by your side until the memories and the pain finally start to fade, and then I’ll keep staying beside you even after that. I’ll be the calm to your chaos. I can’t promise it’ll get better. But I promise you won’t deal with it alone.”

Sam burrowed his nose tighter into Musa’s neck, arms grasping like a lifeline to her clothes.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again, Musa.”

The purple-eyed faerie sighed in mourning, pulling Sam closer, “You don’t have to be. Not around me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ta-Da! My first Samusa fic! Legitimately, this is the first straight pairing that I've actually been super excited for. It's so refreshing to see a healthy and non-toxic relationship on tv. 
> 
> But anyway, I hope you all liked it! Please leave a kudos and comment below! I love getting feedback from you guys. Have a great day!
> 
> P.S. (I apologize to those who haven't read my fics before, angst is kinda my staple lol. Sorry for possibly depleting your stack of tissues!)


End file.
